Feeling Compassion

Sometimes I have an overwhelming amount of compassion for those who are needy.  I want to help so bad that it hurts.  I hear stories about hardship and poverty and my heart breaks.  I guess that is why I am involved in the homeless ministry at my church.  I want to help.  I have a desire to help.  Most of the people that we help appreciate the help.  I can see it in their eyes, feel it in their hugs, and hear it in their voices that they feel loved.   That they do not feel invisible when we are there.  That we actually see them and that we recognize that they are people just like you and me.  I cannot even imagine the pain that they must feel on a daily basis when people look through them or do not even look at them at all.  What a horrible feeling.

The other day we were driving to the hospital to visit my nephew and we drove by a person holding a cardboard sign pleading for help.  We were running late and trying to get to the hospital before visiting hours were over, so we drove right past.  I feel horrible because that was one person who needed our help.  He was crying out in desperation for some help and what did we do?  We looked right through him.  We did the exact thing that I wrote about above...

When the homeless group that I am involved in goes out to the city together we pack little care packages.  How amazing would it be if everyone carried a care package with them at all times, then when we run across someone in need we could just hand out the package instead of looking through the person.  I think that is an idea that I am going to look into further.  What items can I keep in our car that would be beneficial to someone in need that will not spoil or explode due to an extremely hot summer day or a freezing cold winter night?  Humm...  If I only had one of these packages yesterday...

Good and gracious God,
Thank you for your compassion for us.  Be with those who are hurting right now.  Be with those who feel invisible and unwanted.  Help them realize that they are not invisible and that they are wanted.  Let them know that they are loved.  I pray that you do a great work on their hearts.  If they do not know you yet please water the seeds that were once sewn.  If there were no seeds planted yet then please send one of your faithful followers towards them.  If it is me then make it so.  Lord I am amazed at your love for me.  I am amazed of your love for everyone.  I just wish everyone could see it.  Lord, please be with my group as we go to the streets on Saturday.  Prepare us for whatever trials that we will be facing, whether they are spiritual trials or physical trials.  Help us to rely on you so your work will be done.  Please give me the opportunity to meet the individual that I looked through yesterday.  Please give me the chance to let him know that he is loved and not forgotten.  Lord we have not forgotten your promise.  Please pull on our hearts to help make it feel more real.  Lord, spark a fire in our hearts.  In Jesus' name, Amen.

The holidays are upon us.  I am excited to spend time with my sister this holiday!  She recently moved closer to home so we are able to spend the holidays with her with limited traveling.  I heard that my brother might be coming to town around Christmas, so I’m excited for that.  It has been several months since I've seen him.

I have family that is pregnant!  I’m looking forward to hearing about possible baby names.  Sometimes I wish that my wife and I were pregnant.  I guess you can say I have baby fever.  Then I think about our lifestyle and how much everything would change if we had a baby.  I also look at the cost of raising a baby and realize that now isn’t the best time to have a baby financially.  We still have student loans, I would like to save for a down payment on a house, we have car payments, and we need to replace my car soon.  On the other hand, I’ve been told that if you wait until you can afford a baby then you’ll never have kids, so I guess the financial aspect isn’t a true reason to appreciate being non-pregnant.  I just need to be patient.  I'll get to be a father in due time.

Some of my friends and I have a yearly Secret Santa gift exchange.  We use a website that randomly chooses each other’s gift partner.  It works out really well because we are able to make it so couples don’t draw each other and so that you don’t get the same person you had the previous year(s).  The site also lets users make a wish list.  I came to realize while I was making the list that almost everything on my list is work related.  Here are some of the main items on my wish list: clothes I can wear to work, calendars I can display at work, a drawer organizer, picture frames, and a mp3 player that I’ll use while I’m at work.  How sad… I guess I do spend a majority of my time at work.  I could probably con my employer to get me a drawer organizer, but then I couldn’t take it with me if I switch jobs.

On Saturday the homeless ministry that I am involved with is having an event.  We have been accepting donations from our congregation.  Our congregation has been very supportive.  Now we just need to find an effective way of distributing these items equally among the homeless and needy in our area.  We are hitting the streets on Saturday.  We know where a couple homeless folks live and we know where some of the big hang out spots are.  I just hope that we have enough items to share with everyone.  We could use some prayer that everything goes well and that we are able to share Christ's love to the needy and unfortunate in our area.  Hopefully by showing them Christ's love it will help them find Christ's love.

Good and Gracious Father,
Thank you for all the blessing you pour over us.  We do not deserve all the love and affection that you give us.  The grace that you give us is indescribable.  How someone as perfect as you could sacrifice your truly perfect son for us.  To save us from what we deserve.  To save us from ourselves.  Lord you are worthy of all my praise.  Please watch over us on Saturday when we attempt to help the needy.  Please guide our steps, actions, and words as we try to relate to the needy and unfortunate.  Have you blessed us more then you have blessed them?  Are they in their situations based on sins they have committed?  Lord we have so many questions about the homeless and unfortunate, but all we really know is that you told us to care for them.  Treat them as our brothers.  Feed and cloth them.  Give us the humility to serve each other as you have served us.  Deflate our ego and our pride as we humbly use our own finances to serve others... wait, as we use your finances to serve others.  Daily remind us that our money is not really our money, it is your money that you let us have.  Lord, keep us humble.  Please help me to serve my neighbors as you have called us to.  Help me to serve my brothers as you have called us to.  Help me to serve my wife as you have called me to.  Lord, I love you.  In Christ's name, Amen.

Carry your Cross

I'm sure you've heard the phrase "carry your cross".  What does it mean to you?  How do you respond or what do you think when you hear it?  Do you think of Jesus and the cross he carried?  Do you think of the torture he endured right before he was forced to carry the cross?  Do you think of the crucifixion that happened after Jesus carried the cross?  How should we as Christ followers carry our crosses?

Jesus was flogged before he carried the cross.  I don't think that the term flogged really does itself any justice.  He was brutally beaten to near death before carrying his cross, but he still did it.  He knew what was going on and he was in control the entire time.  Jesus had the power to stop the punishment at any point.  He could have healed himself, punish those injuring him, or even let himself die quicker.  Instead he stood his ground and fulfilled all the prophecies in the Old Testament. He knew what was going to come out of his pain.  He knew that it was for the greater good and that glory was going to be shown.  He knew that his love would prevail.

One way that we can apply that to our lives is to remember this the next time that we are beaten or bogged down, whether it is physically, emotionally, or spiritually.  We need to look forward to the greater good of the situation.  We know what happened with Jesus.  We know that Jesus knew what was going to happen.  Jesus still went to the cross despite all the torture he had already gone through.  He could have said enough!  The flogging could have been the end, but Jesus, God, the Lord, loved us enough to continue, so that means that we still need to continue even when we are beaten or torn down.  We need to look forward and realize that this trial, this torture, this pain will end.  We know that God will show his glory through it.  Amazingly we do not have to go through the pain and suffering that our Lord went through.  He did that for us.

Amazing Father,
Thank you for the reminder of your love tonight.  I am humbled by the actions you did while you were on earth.  Since you were able to endure all of that in your final hours I should be able to handle the small trials that come my way.  Help me to remember your sacrifice during my next trial.  Help me to be joyful in my next trial.  I know that your glory will be shown.  I know that you have a plan for my trials.  You will teach myself or someone around me a lesson through my trials.  Help me to carry my cross gracefully.  Help me to not complain when I get flogged.  Thankfully I will not be physically flogged anytime soon, but I know that the mental, spiritual, and symbolic flogging will be continual.  Help me to pick up my cross and push through it.  Lord you are amazing and worthy to be praised.  In Jesus' name, Amen.

Homecoming

The last couple of days have been fun, but very exhausting.  My alumnus had their homecoming activities this weekend.  I went and joined the marching band during the (American) football game.  I had a lot of fun and will cherish some of those memories for years to come.  My wife had just finished her first week as a nanny so she wanted to stay home and relax, so she did not go to the game with me.  After the football I came home to change and my wife and I met up with some friends for dinner.  We ended up splitting dinner that way we could afford drinks and dessert.  We got a slice of peanut butter pie for dessert, wow was it delicious!  Our alumnus has both a student homecoming dance and an alumni homecoming dance, so we decided to dance it up.  Everyone in our group of friends went to the dance after dinner.  It was nice to dress up for a formal event and go dancing.  I really enjoy dancing with my wife.  In the past she didn't like dancing very much, she only really wanted to dance to slow songs, but lately she is starting to really break out of her shell.  I like it when she dances with me.  After the dance we were on the way home when a gentleman flagged us down.  His vehicle had broken down and he was looking for a jump.  Normally I wouldn't stop that late at night with my wife in the car, but they looked like good people and it was a very well light up area.   We gave them a jump, but their vehicle didn't sound right, so they turned it off.  I offered to bring them somewhere, after dropping my wife off, but they declined.  They apparently had a friend who was going to pick them up if needed.  So my wife and I just went home.  When we were out and about the next day we saw them out trying to fix their car again.  I guess they got it running or towed, because the vehicle is no longer there.  Here's to hoping that they fixed it!  All in all it was a great day.  The football team won, the band sounded good, my wife got some rest, dinner was good, dancing was amazing, and we attempted to help some folks in need.

Amazing Father,
Thank you for blessing me with good days like the other day.  It was truly a wonderful day.  I praise you for making the weather cooperate with us, the weather men said it was going to rain all day, but you proved them wrong.  I guess that proves that science is not always right!  You are amazing and truly worthy of all praise.  Thank you for being so good to us.  I'm sorry that I haven't been as faithful as I could have been these last few days.  I struggled with some stuff.  Please help clear out that temptation.  Help me to focus on better things.  Thank you for helping us put together a men's group.  I think I'm going to really enjoy getting to know those guys better.  I'm kind of bummed out that we are reading books and only meeting once a month, but I think it will still be good.  Help me to stay on task and actually read the books.  I've read through the first couple of pages and it sounds like a pretty good book.  We both know how distracted I get and how quickly I can lose interest in a book.  Help me to stay focused on the bigger picture.  The bigger picture is NOT to impress the men in my group.  It is NOT to read a book to show how cultured I am.  It is NOT to broaden my knowledge of the Bible.  It IS and only is to help me grow closer to you.  Lord, I greatly desire to know you better.  I yearn to have a deeper relationship with you.  Help me to get past the sins that are getting in the way.  Help me to be an example for you to the folks around me, both friends and family.  Amazing Father you are the greatest thing that has happened to me.  There have been a couple religious conversations at work lately.  Please use me to further your kingdom if and when the timing is right.  I know that some of my co-workers are searching for something more, but I also know that they have been burned by organized religion in the past.  Help them to see that you are not the same as those organized religions.  Being a Christian is not a religion, it is about having a relationship with you.  Please help them see that.  Lord, give my wife strength as she continues her nanny job.  I know how hard it is for her sometimes.  Give her the right motivation so that she doesn't fall into temptation either.  Father, as we go to church tonight help us to focus on your teachings.  Help us to apply the lesson to our lives.  Help us to stay open minded and to hear your word.  We love you Lord.  In the name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.

Looking Back.

I thought it would be interesting to read through all my previous posts, so I started at post one.  I had forgotten how frequently I used to post.  There are a lot of posts out there!  Right now I’m I am in the spring of 2005.  This was a very exciting time in my life because it is the time that my wife and I started dating.  Everything was so new and interesting!

It has been more difficult to read through my previous posts than I had imagined it would be.  I put a lot of feelings out there and some of those feelings are not much fun to revisit.  Throughout my posts there have been three girls that I wrote about.  As I look back I remember how I felt, but now I see what God’s plan for me was.  I see that those hurts and pains were there for a reason.  They helped mold me into the person I am today.  They helped mold me into the husband I am today.  As much as I would have never admitted it 6 years ago, I am glad that Gaby broke up with me.  As much as I desired the other girl, I’m glad that God made me wait.  Otherwise I wouldn’t be with my wife today.  

I am looking forward to reading more of my old posts.  I’m excited to read about the beginning of my wife and my relationship.  I just hope that I wrote about it in as much detail as I did about Gaby and the other gal. 

One thing that I noticed, which has been driving me bonkers, is that I was (and still am) a horrible speller.  Why did it take so long for Xanga to get spell check? Part of me wants to go back and fix all the spellings, but there is just so much of it!  Another thing I’ve noticed is that most of the folks who wrote comments on my posts have closed their sites.  This makes me a little sad.  I’d be interested to see what I wrote on their sites, but I can’t.  At least I don’t think I can.  The few folks who haven’t closed their sites have not posted in a long time, 1-4 years in some cases.  I hope some of them get the urge to start posting again.  I really enjoyed reading their thoughts.

Amazing Father,
Thank you thank you thank you for unanswered prayers.  Lord you are so good to me.  I remember how long and hard I would pray for those girls to be in my life.  I can just picture you up in heaven orchestrating the perfect time and place for my wife and I to fall in love.  I know deep inside that you were telling me to wait a little longer and boy am I glad that I did.  I love my wife so very much.  I praise your name for how amazing you are.  Please be with those who are hurting right now.  Give renewed health to those who are sick.  Gracious God, please take care of the needy right now.  Provide the hungry with a meal and the cold with some warmth.  Thank you for how you always take care of us.  You are worthy of all praise.  In Christ's name I pray, Amen.